I’ve always been the one to turn away from the status quo. Pre-recovery, I was on the extreme! If you said white, I’d say black, if you said left, I’d say right and took great pride in my contrarian stance. In early recovery, I had a complete 180. I was tired of the figure eight, expending such energy and allowed myself to disappear within peer groups, essentially disengaging from all that was not labeled recovery.
As time in recovery gathered, so did its pages. I continuously errored in so many new ways. Exciting as it was scary, the unknown brought on energy as a direct opponent to fear. It’s been a process as life has cleared up a whole lot.
The birds are now singing and it’s the liveliest of crispy spring mornings, I turn the corner and it’s a gray blanket of fog thick enough to foster the pile up. Just when I’m about to hit the brakes and run back the other way, I realize I get to pause today. Recalibrate as this chapter in recovery prompts me to slow down. This way, I actually get to experience it and go through the fog no matter what.
A mentor of mine told me I seemed calmer and decluttered. No contradiction necessary, I’ll take that any day! Truth be told, I’m merely on the fringe of the next chapter.. Where do you find yourself these days?
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